I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
