Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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