A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
