woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I deserve this hangover.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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