Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
