Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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