Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Randomize
