conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Randomize
