Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
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