Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
