I want to make a zoo with you.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
