you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
