At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
