my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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