12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
