What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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