took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
How's work?
Spinning.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
