none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
