I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
