she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
