My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You ate ashes out of my bong
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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