I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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