just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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