Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
