Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
