i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
