And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
