just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
