It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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