i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
