i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize