I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
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