And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The air taste purple.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
