She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
