K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
