It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
