p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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