well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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