he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
