she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
