No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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