OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I wish I only lived at night.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Randomize
