Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Randomize
