$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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