my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
