dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
