i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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