I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
