my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
