Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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